Men sexuality

Male Sexuality and Passionate Needs

ED doctor from Seattle explains male sexuality. What women and men desire to know about men’s desire and emotional needs.

Marc DiJulio, MD, FACEP

Medical Director
Innovative Men’s Clinic, Lynnwood, WA
Groundbreaking Doctor’s Group

Long-held stereotypes contend that men are always interested in sex, happiest being the pursuer, and focused solely on the physical. A new novel disagrees. I hold been speaking about this for years based on years of experience and review of the sexual literature. A book has recently been published about this, written by a Ph.D. sex therapist and researcher.

What do men want?

Long-held stereotypes contend they’re always interested in sex; happiest existence the pursuer; focused on the physical rather than the emotional connection. If we discuss male sexuality at all, we tend to focus on the darker, toxic side – the entitlement and aggression increasingly exposed by the #MeToo movement. This only furthers the myths and stereotypes.

A new book “Not Always in the Mood: The Recent Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships” by Sarah Seeker Murray, debunks several commonly held myths about male sexuality. It expl

men sexuality

All About the Male Sex Drive

Sex drive can diminish with age. But sometimes a loss of libido is tied to an underlying condition. The monitoring can cause a shrink in sex drive:

Stress or depression. If you are experiencing mental health issues, talk to your medic. He or she may prescribe medication or recommend psychotherapy.

Endocrine disorders. An endocrine disorder may decrease male sex hormones.

Low testosterone levels. Certain medical conditions, enjoy sleep apnea, can produce low testosterone levels, which can impact your sex drive.

Certain medications. Some medications can impact your libido. For instance, some antidepressants, antihistamines, and even blood pressure medications can impair erections. Your doctor may be able to propose an alternative.

High blood pressure. Damage to the vascular system can hurt a man’s ability to acquire or maintain an erection.

Diabetes. Like having high blood pressure, diabetes can injury a man’s vascular system and affect his ability to maintain an erection.

Only you can measure what is normal for your sex drive. If you are experiencing libido changes, talk to your doctor. Sometimes it can be difficult to tal

In men, sexual dysfunction refers to difficulties engaging in sexual intercourse. Sexual dysfunction encompasses a variety of disorders that affect

  • Sex navigate (libido)

  • The ability to achieve or maintain an erection (erectile dysfunction or impotence)

  • The ability to ejaculate

  • The ability to reach an erection without a deformity in the penis

  • The ability to achieve an orgasm

Sexual dysfunction may result from either physical or psychological factors, or a combination of both. A physical issue may lead to psychological problems (such as anxiety, depression, or stress), which can in change aggravate the physical problem. Men sometimes pressure themselves or feel pressured by a partner to perform well sexually and become distressed when they cannot (performance anxiety). Production anxiety can be troublesome and further worsen a man’s ability to appreciate sexual relations.

Disorders of ejaculation are the most common sexual dysfunctions experienced by men. Disorders add

Erectile dysfunction is common in middle-aged and older men. Decreased libido also affects some men.

Normal Male Sexual Function

Normal sexual function is a complex interaction involving bot

Men, Women, and Sexuality: More Similar Than Different

The most common misconception about male vs. female sexuality is that men are creatures of nature, while women are creatures of sense. Biology drives him. Emotions drive her.

But while we say women are so complex, we need to remember that men are not so simple. In my practice, I frequently hear stories from patients that indicate these gender myths make us fail sight of what is actually happening. 

Saddled with these narrow ideas of sexuality, we suffer through unfulfilled sexual and emotional needs. And our relationships settle the price. 
So let's travel some ways that this common script can be turned on its head.

Male Sexuality Can Be Relational -- and Emotional

A major unknown of male sexuality is how relationally-driven it really is. Men clutch hidden stories that they often don’t share with anyone. Even themselves. This is as true in sex -- where we expect men to be driven -- as it is in men’s sentimental lives. Perhaps even more true in the arena of sex because of the age old idea of what it means to be "a concrete man." 

Fear of rejection, act anxiety, guilt, shame, insecurity, and depressio

James is in his 60s and for two years has been with Claudette, whom he met on an online dating site. He describes his sexuality as follows: “I am a man.” For James, sexuality combines with his masculinity and is something he feels very primary to his personality. He says that he learned how to be a boy and later a man from his father and especially his brother, a role model for his marriage and responsibility as a husband.

“In my teenage years, I was so caught up with the idea of needing to get a girlfriend," James explains. "My brother taught me how to ask girls out on a date. Initiative and action was the model of my dating in my youth. I understood this like it wasto be a 'man’s duty and responsibility,' and I did not question it. Back then, girls took more passive roles in dating and they did not tend to doubt that approach to dating.

"'Initiate, lead, and entertain,' are the three words that pop out of my mind when I consider about dating throughout my young adulthood," he says. "When Claudette was talking about the shame joined to her sexuality, I had a thought that I, too, felt embarrassed when I couldn’t fulfill my role. My role was to initiate a date and entertain